Is it me or...???

Is it me or does Amil-lion favor Leiomy Mizrahi???

I live for Leiomy but Amil has been known too look a little manly. #imjustsayin.

I'll take my Metro Card to go please

Thank the American education system smh this is why i can wait for school to be back in session. These lil kool-aid drinkers have nothing better to do than to cause fuckery. There is absolutely no reason why that nigga should put his hands on a female, granted he's clearly a flamin bottom but i dont care, especially when she wasnt provoking him; besides there were plenty of ratchet ass hoes readily available to do the job, i.e. the lil bird with the side bun and slick ass bang. ALL THESE MUTHAFUCKAS NEED THEIR LIL ASSES BEAT

The dance of a free man...

While watching Maury today i was inspired to comprise a list of videos that highlight the "you are NOT the father" trend on Maury, & the excitement involved when those words are read. Enjoy!



*im 5,000% sure...bitch bye!!



*dives in casket head first smh im done lmaooooo



*did that bitch really fall out on the floor on national fuckin tv?? lmaoooo i cant



*YOULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!


FLAWLESS FUCKING VICTORY!!!!

Sunday's Best!

This right here is my swag

all the boys are on me swag

everybody pay attention

this right here is my

FRESH OFF THE BOAT SWAG!!

*sigh*

Dear RiRi,

BITCH WTF DO YOU HAVE ON?? Your stylist must be on vacay and left your ass confused and lost. Bitch are those fatigue jeans O_o now dont get me wrong you's a bad bitch when you want to be but this outfit is just tragic and unfortunate. And those white church shoes...im confused, was it communion sunday? Some deaconess must have caught the Holy Ghost, kicked off her shoes, and you made a mad dash with them smh FAIL FAIL FAIL!!!!

Lets bow our heads and pray....Dear Lord plz forgive this child bc she knows not what she do, & Lord plz forgive the back of her head for being tardy for the party...AMEN! Im done...there is absolutely no reason for the back of her head to look like a bowl of pubic hairs. Bitch use black gel, jam, cum, shit anything to lay that patch of dry, rough as hair down smh how dreadful. Bitch you just made me throw up in my mouth, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Noseriously im still stuck on these fatigue jeans tho...


Regards,

Your Favorite Wig Snatcher!


no shade...

Bar/Nightclub Etiquette...Really?!

Instead of giving you paragraphs of what NOT to do while out at bars and nightclubs, I have simply complied a list.

And it goes a little somethin', like this...

1. Keep it cute. This encompasses many different tragic things that I see out at clubs and bars. Although it is pretty broad, it is very basic and simple. Let's keep shoes on; lip stick off the teeth, lets not sweat our hair out, lets keep the make up from running off our face, please shave your legs and armpits, keep your cha-cha covered at all times, and lets stop this sex on the dance floor.
2. If you're on a budget, stay your ass at home. I hate...HATE listening to people ask the bartender how much this cost, and how much that costs. If you have to do some basic accounting before you can order a drink, your priorities are in the wrong places and you need to go home. Asking how much something costs is only acceptable when ordering a drink that the bartender does not know how to make. Which leads me to...
3. Order what you know. There is a time and place for ordering new shit, like at TGI Fridays or Ruby Tuesday, when you have time and patience to school a bartender on how to make a specific drink, or try a new one. While out at a bar, get what you know! Make it easy for the bartender, who has to make a million other drinks and does not have the time to complete a full SAT prep in order to figure out how to make this drink. And usually when you get what you know, you're ready for the price tag and there is no need to ask how much.
4. Ladies, the club bathroom is not your personal space. This one specifically is for the ladies who stand around in the bathroom staring in the mirror, taking up all the damn sinks so that everyone else must wait to just wash their hands and leave because you need to glue a track back in! I can't stand these kinds of women with a passion, because if you need to stand in the bathroom and get ready then maybe you should have spent more time at home in your mirror. Club bathrooms are for reapplying lipgloss and actually going to the bathroom, not a full beauty session.
5. Fellas, there are no walls so you know we can see you? Don't you hate the one brother who floats around the club going from woman to woman, getting numbers and laying his "mack" down...like we all can't see him!?? Bye boy. Trust, all these women are clowning you and giving you the wrong number.
6. Manners still matter! The one thing that pisses me off is the amount of people who walk through the club or bar and never once acknowledge that someone was standing in their path. No 'excuse me' or anything. Sometimes I have to question whether I'm visible to the human eye or not. It goes a long way to just say "excuse me" or "i'm sorry" if you bump into someone or need them to politely move out of your way. It also sucks if you bump into me and I spill my drink, because now you owe you $11 for my Tokyo Tea!
7. It's all love in the club. This one is for those few hating ass chicks who get salty when they get schooled on the dance floor. We're all in the club/bar to have a good time, please don't take it to heart. If I just taught you how to dougie, pass it on, no need to get salty. Pick up a Darren's Dance Grooves and learn how to two-step.

I could go on all day...

But these are some basic tips that will keep your party going and ensure that everyone around you also enjoys themselves. Sometimes a little consideration goes a long way, even in the club.

Follow these few rules and I promise you that your friends and others will no longer be embarrassed to take you anywhere anymore. And of course, I won't have to clown you to my friends and post your busted tail on my Twitter.

#keepitcute

-------------------------

Follow me: @whitneydaniell & whitneydaniell.com

Do You Need A Gatorade Sir?

Yesterday I posted this to my tumblr: ❒Taken ❒ Single ✔Just Eat My Pussy. Now my tumblr is hooked up to my facebook, so all of my posts automatically goes there. Big mistake! That only invited all of the thirst buckets. This parched one came straight to me through text:





I really wish that I could send this man a gatorade or a bottle of water. I have known him for almost two years, and I have never gave him the time of day. He has even offered to pay my rent for six months, so that I can give him a chance. I shut him down every time. He refuses to give up. The crazy thing is that he's really cute. Quite the male whore actually. He has plenty of women to choose from. The problem is that I'm most likely the first female to shut him down and take him as a joke. Men always want to chase after something they can't have. I don't understand men logic sometimes. One day he will get over this fascination with me. Hopefully :-\

Can Watching Porn Turn You Gay?

Ummmm maybe.

As a female who actually likes watching porn i can say that too much of a good thing can definitely turn bad. Most of us didnt start watching porn on our own, we were pressured by a boyfriend/boo/jumpoff to watch it once it was "accidentally" popped into the DVD player & curiosity got the best of us. Though apprehensive at first we actually grew to tolerate it once in awhile, if not like it all together. But what happens when every now and then turns into every night? Or when the only way you can get in the 'mood' is when you watch porn? This is a problem that can seriously hurt your sexual appetite.

Watching porn can actually be very insightful and interesting. You can learn different 'tricks' for the bed room, what makes your partner tick, & their sexually fantasies, but it can very well be detrimental as well. Which brings us to the 3some/girl-on-girl action.

Hypothetically speaking [of course] the subject of a threesome pops up one day when yall are watching one of these 'flicks.' The average chick says "HELL NO NIGGA" [lol] while the curious one actually considers it for a second, a lil hesitant she responds with a subtle "no,' but the seed has been planted and continues to grow. With much persistence & relentlessness she eventually considers it, and agrees. [DISCLAIMER: i have never had a threesome b4 therefore i do not know the particulars of constructing one, this is just based on what i've been told so work with me]. A third party is then discussed and agreed upon; friends, friends of friends, ex-girlfriends, boos, & jump-offs are all off limits, it must be a neutral party, somebody that you will never encounter again - the chick working at Starbucks, a stripper, etc.  Anyway, so judgement day is here, its a lil awkward at first but you get through it with the help of your favorite drug of choice (goose, 4 lokos, weed, ecstasy, etc.).

When its all said and done you actually enjoyed, fuck it - YOU LOVED IT! However, the part that you liked the most had nothing to do with your boyfriend but your invited friend - the chick. You quickly start asking yourself "does this mean im gay?" Sensing that your overreacting, you immediately place the thought out of your head. But not long after its back. It gets to the point where you cant stop fantasizing about your lil rendezvous. Your thoughts are consumed with the way she smelled, her touch, her taste, and you get excited all over again. Embarrassed by your thoughts you dont tell your boyfriend, instead you invade his stash of pornos and find the one with your favorite girl-on-girl scenes, pop it in, and masturbate until your satisfied. Filled with guilt you cant even look your man in the eyes anymore, let alone have sex with him, in fact the only part of sex you enjoy is when he's giving you oral sex. Eventually the relationship falls apart from lack of sexual desire and satisfaction on your part. Its like that first hit of crack, your constantly searching for that first high but unfortunately your search is in vain bc you will never get it back. What now?

First and foremost: YES BITCH YOUR GAY! So stop convincing yourself otherwise. You allowed a man to influence your actions smh yea your a dumb bitch but theres nothing you can do about it now, your turned. You prolly been gay since birth and it took up until now for you to bust outta the closet. YOU MAD? Well get glad and accept it. And fellas you aren't excluded from this lil scenario either. Yall are mighty suspect too, constantly watching another man's dick on camera hmmmm next thing you know you'll want to reenact the scenes with a man. Mark my words.

At the end of the day, you may think that this scenario is a little far fetch but there is a positive correlation with watching porn & 3somes. Meaning, the more you watch porn the more you will want to have a 3some, and there is an even bigger correlation between 3somes and lesbian relations - more 3somes = more gay relations. LESBI-HONEST! Just think twice the next time you decide to pick up a porno and watch it with your dude. It can ultimately turn you into a carpet-munching cat snatcher. And you'll be stuck asking yourself can porn turn you gay? Yes it can!


no shade...