A french fry & a burp away...

Now we all have that ONE friend thats a lil on the hefty side, like the bitch is a french fry and a burp away from being obese. Unfortunately she thinks she's the shit but unbeknownst to her people are talking about her literal fat ass in a not-so flattering way. In short....the bitch needs to run some laps and subscribe to the South Beach Diet ASAP before her situation becomes a serious problem.

If you think bc u have a fat ass that nothing else matters, sweetie your sadly mistaken. If your comfortable with the fact that the only thing that attracts attention is ur ass and nothing else then i applaud your shallowness and it will be you and ur ass against the world alone bc no real man will ever wife a chick with an ass but no brain. A fat ass is not a trump card, God did not stop making asses when he made yours so it wud be wise to acquire something else to accompany that ass of yours. Lets be real, most bitchez with big butts are not that cute in the face, no shade, but it just is what it is. Im not hating, just speaking the truth.

I never realized how far a fat ass could get you until one weekend i spent in Atlantic City with my bitchez. One of our friends has an abnormally large ass & it was the craze all weekend. Thanks to her ass we got to chill in VIP with the likes of Rick Ross, Fabolous, & Red Cafe all weekend. Now that was all fine and dandy, and i definitely was enjoying myself but my issue was that not one, i mean NOT ONE guy looked at her face the entire time. All eyes were on her butt, and nothing else. She could have looked like Shrek and niggaz wudnt have cared; all they saw was ass, and a big one at that. She seemed perfectly find with that, but i wud feel like i was selling myself short, i wud be highly offended and used. Sure i like attention, but it seemed like she was getting all the wrong attention. Once again this is not hate, just my observations. (Im secure in my ability to turn heads when i walk in a room, i might not have a fat ass or large boobs, but my presence commands attention, and im cool with that). Now, our friend is not the cutest on the block but like all cliques everybody has their individual strengths and purposes, hers is her ass and the perks that come along with it, and im not mad at that.

Lets be clear about something, though she has a fat ass, it is not the most put together. It lacks structure and definition. To be frank....its fat,nasty, and out of shape....damnnnnnnn no shade. Hold up i kno yall are prolly like 'how can she talk about her friend like that?' but dont make any mistakes about it im using the word friend very loosely, she is in fact a friend of a friend and i only tolerate her bc of that. Noseriously she's like a sesame seed away.........

Okay let me stop going IN on her, she never did anything to me so i wont bagger her any longer but the fact that she has a nasty ass attitude and treats my friend like shit sometimes royally pisses be off, and she deserves this read. Honestly i just want my friend to sit her down and let her ass know she needs to join a gym as soon as possible. But truthfully could you tell your friend something like that? Essentially what your saying is 'get your fat ass in the gym and lose some weight...your an embarrassment and its not cute.'[NOTE: saying 'no shade' in this situation will not alleviate the blow....proceed with caution] Im glad i dont have fat friends bc idk wtf i would do lol

O_o

Now this is just wrong on so many levels. Her HUGE fake ass needs to sit the fuck down somewhere but wait....i wonder if she can even sit down right after all that shit pumped up in her ass it has to be uncomfortable. Smh all this bitch will EVER be used for is backshots, her life will never amount to nothing more than being somebody's whore smh another black girl lost.

no shade...