Who's Having the Best Year Ever?

Homewreckers! Thats, who.

Since the Tiger Woods scandal, homewreckers and side pieces have stepped out of their role and decided to go above and beyond their job titles. 2010 has been the year of the 'Emancipation of the Sideline Hoe.' These chicks are coming out of the woodwork and dammit, they are a force to be reckoned with.

With Kelis snatching Nas' wig and getting him for a good $50,000 a month and Elin is coasting by hoping to pocket a cool $1 million, oh and let us not forget the Jessie/Sandra scandal the day after she won an Oscar. It seems like horrible marriages, cheating husbands and wives, and babies are the biggest come up of 2010.

At what point do people begin to honor the vows they take before God?

Quiet as its kept, Gabby and DWade were shacking up long before his (recent) divorce with wife Siohvaughn. Although he filed for divorce back in 2007, rumors were already abuzz about his new "actress" (and I use that term loosely) girlfriend. Gabby played her part as the sideline hoe; she cheered quietly in the crowd, walked a few paces behind him, and avoided questions that would expose their affair. However, with the recent completion of his divorce and his custody battle with his children (his youngest who was born just months after filing for divorce), the two have decided that now is the time to come clean about their "relationship" (I use that term loosely as well).

I guess movie roles aren't coming coming as quickly as she thought they would be after her magnificent portrayal as Eva in Deliver Us from Eva [sarcasm]. Nonetheless, she needed to hook herself to someone who could garner her some more attention and add a couple more zeros to her bank account. With the rise of these childbirth paydays, I'm sure that Gabby will be knocked up in no time! She can't miss out on that cash cow and let Siohvaughn get all that good NBA money. Chile bye, her legs are probably spread eagle right now in somebody's kitchen pantry just waiting for D Wade to come drop it off in her drawls! I give her uterus 6 months

and it'll be full of human.

I must say out of the homewreckers, Gabby has been the classiest considering that D Wade did file for divorce three years ago, that gives some kind of headspace there where she could have moved in. But this next chick, ugh [shakes my mother fucking head and then drops it low for Jesus].

Fantasia. Fantasia. Fantasia. Girl you so hood!

This chick didn't even find her a man with money [kudos to Gabby for doing it right] she was just in a T-Mobile store to pay her bill and decided to throw her sales representative some of her American Idol ass. Have you no shame Fanny? Hell nawl.

Not only did she throw this broke man some pussy, she tattooed his name on her shoulder! Yes girl, you tried to hide it and lie about it, but honey pictures don't lie (unlike your lying ass). He has a wife and children whom he up and left in order to lay up with her and Teeny's crying ass. I don't know what man is willing to lay up in this chick's family but I guess he's the one laughing now because we all know his damn name and it's not because we needed

to pay our damn T-Mobile bill!

So now Fanny has covered this horrible tattoo, you know Brandy Norwood style, with another horrible tattoo and this man's wife has come out publicly saying that she [Fantasia] stole her husband. Even though, I doubt that Fantasia will be impregnated by this idiot [lord please] however I do think that more body modification will come and this will only get worse for her publicly.

Let the church say, 'Amen'.

Lastly, the one homewrecker who is abso-fucking-lutely having the best year ever.....

(Yeah, you saw that one coming the moment you began reading this.)

Alicia Keys snagged her a married man about three years back, probably around the time Swizz found out that his wife Mashonda was having a baby, but that didn't bother Ms. Keys. She saw what she wanted and went for it. Despite this man having a history with impregnating women and then leaving them, she believes (a term I use loosely) that her "relationship" is the exception to his rule.

You see, Mashonda was the chick who held Swizz down. He got another woman pregnant while he was with her and yet, she still married him and later had a baby herself. Oh and guess what, he left her ass and has now planted his seed in another willing participant.

This chick A Keys has had her damn eyes wide shut and her legs wide the fuck open. Girl you so stupid!

There is no man in the world worth my dignity, pride, and self respect and chile, you gave all that up the moment you opened your legs to a married man. But I will say this, Swizz is paying Mashonda and that other baby mamma and he's not complaining so I guess Alicia needed to get in on that childbirth payday too!

Shit, since Kelis' womb hit the come up, I'm trying to finagle my way onto some rich man dick and put my good childbearing hips to good use! Basketball Baby Mammas and Girlfriends copped a VH1 show, I know me and my ladies could do better than that. We got good genes!

My new goal for 2010 is to put my womb to good use and find me a rich man with some sperm that he needs to deposit (and some checks to deposit too). To hell with chasing this career and a damn degree, I should've spent that $90,000 on some hoe shit and been chasing some men instead of partaking in higher education.

#shotsfired

What would you do for a klondike bar?